What If I Stumble?

There's a song, "What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the lovecontinue or the walk become a crawl? What if I stumble, what if I fall?"

I think I did just that. Number one, I don't say any of this for attention, I'm just veryhonest about my feelings. Anyways, I relapsed. Started using drugs again. No complex reason, just stopped taking things to God and started living on my own strength. Started numbing pain instea of dealing with it. So, it all came out in the open (the Bible says all things done in secret will be found out). My dean/boss/mentor found out and I confessed. I got dismissed from TCIMI but with opporunity to come back in 6 months if I complete what they call Restoration. It's Teen Challenge again, but for 6 months and a lot more focused counseling and healing. It'll be good. So, I can let this ruin me and destroy me or pickup my bootstraps, admit I was wrong (not done easily), face my consequenses and walk on. So, that is what I will do...

If I don't post for a while (Like 6 moths) this is why, I love you all and thanks for your prayers.

Contadiction?!?

Sermon on the Mount… or plain?

Matthew 5-7
Luke 6:17-26

The apparent contradiction occurs in Luke 6:17 where it states that Jesus came down off the slopes of the mountain to teach the crowds on a level area versus Matthew 5:1 where it states that Jesus went up the mountainside to teach His disciples. Basically, what I see (personally) is that just like a pastor may teach the same thing many times, Jesus did too. He talked many times about the same things and this could be the case. The word is God-breathe and inerrant. God cannot contradict Himself and since He is the Word, the Word has no contradictions. I believe in this case that there were two separate occasions on which Jesus taught the Beatitudes; one with His disciples on a mountain, another on a plain for all to hear.

Your thoughts???

Check out this website, it's good.

www.undertheoverpass.com

Daddy's Arms

This is a song I just wrote. No music to it yet. What do ya think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daddy's Arms

A tiny little girl, her daddy has been gone
It’s time to go and get him ‘cause he is coming home
She rushes out to meet him, her hands lifted in the air
He picks her up and hugs her, all she wants is to stay there

(Chorus)
In Daddy’s arms
She’s longing for her Daddy’s arms
She wants him to hold her and never let her go
In her Daddy’s arms, her Daddy’s arms
She wants to stay forever
Safe in her Daddy’s arms

A few years later, look how much she’s grown
Tryin’ to spread her wings, but the school kids knock her down
She wants nothing more, than to just be one of them
Seeks refuge in her daddy, but he’s lost in his own sin

Chorus

After a long time, she’s doin’ things all on her own
She’s got a new man, yet she’s feeling all alone
He likes to yell and scream and when it gets real bad
He just goes and hits her and she longs for things once had

Chorus

Now she’s down to nothing and doesn’t know what to do
She picks up the phone hopin’ her call will go through
He picks up on the first ring, she doesn’t know what to say
“Daughter, I know it’s you, I’ve been waiting for this day

You see, I’ve found Jesus, He’s changed my life around
I’m sorry for the things I’ve done, sorry that I let you down
But I need to tell you, how much that God cares
He’s standing there waiting, with His open arms”

“Daddy I’m ready, and I’m sorry too
Please tell me about Jesus and the things that He can do
I know I’ve hit the bottom and I can’t do it anymore
I think this is the answer that I’ve been waiting for”

Her Father’s arms
She found the true Father’s arms
She wants Him to hold her and never let her go
Her Father’s arms, her Father’s arm
She’s staying there forever
Safe in her Father’s arms
The real Father’s arms

Josh Kraus

This is a testimony from a friend of mine, Josh. He is an amazing man of God with an incredible story.

Greetings! My name is Joshua Kraus. I grew up on a little farm in southern Idaho. I love to kick it with Jesus and break mountain bikes. Long ago, however, things were not so green and good. Somehow, thanks to methamphetamines, I managed to fit two cars, two houses full of furnishings, six or seven mountain bikes, five or six girlfriends, forty-three decent friends, and about nine guns into the junkie hole in my arm. God set many "land mines" in my path over the years and I dodged most of them, but when police discovered a methlab at my house, my world exploded. My prideful heart finally cracked. I accepted the Lord and prayerfully decided to go to Teen Challenge.
Since my first day in Teen Challenge, I’ve been carefully and thoroughly trained to decisively wield the weapons of war in this dark world where we live. My job security as a drug dealer shot in the foot, I found myself rethinking a career. God has been tugging at my heart to lead and protect his little ones, so I reside here at TCIMI, where I am being shaped into the coolest youth pastor ever. Pastor Jefferies has hand-picked our curriculum and proves to know exactly what he’s doing. The hard-core work ethic I learned at Spokane Teen Challenge has totally paid off. I work an almost full time job at a welding shop, where I do Spirit-guided-custom-fabricated exhausts.
One of the coolest things about this place is getting involved in my first church. I’m there almost every time the doors open- because I WANT TO BE THERE. I believe that’s an essential for ALL of us Teen Challenge graduates. The kids in my youth group are awesome and they stimulate my growth every day. On Friday nights, all of us TCIMI soldiers head to downtown Portland to feed some of the most broken people I’ve ever seen. The homeless epidemic here is shocking. We get to shine into their lives a little more every week we’re down there. We have figured out the right equation where we love them but don’t enable them in their slothful habits.
I hope God has used me to encourage some of you to join us. I am praying for God to send twenty fighting men and women to bolster our ranks. There will always be job security when your employer is God of the Universe!
God bless!

4 Practices in Building an Effective Prayer Life

Prayer is the heartbeat of our spiritual life. It’s our heart becoming one with God’s through the power of His love. Salvation establishes this love with our Creator, but there are four main things that we can to do strengthen the foundation of our prayer life. The first thing is to personalize and develop a disciplined pattern of prayer. Second, pray the scriptures. Third, pray in the Spirit and fourth, learning to wait upon God.

In personalizing a pattern of discipline in our prayer lives, we must take into account some very important things. The first is to set aside specific times for prayer. In doing this, we ensure ourselves that quality time is being spent in prayer. Next we must choose prayer objectives. For example, on Mondays one might focus on praying for missions, Tuesdays for government, Wednesdays for the church and so on. Choosing prayer objectives allows for us to focus on our prayer time and not be distracted as easily. Finally, we must pray continually. The Bible says to pray without ceasing. When we come to God in regular prayer, we will be able to trust Him so much more in times of emergency prayer in crisis.

A very significant way to develop an effective prayer life is to use Scripture to guide our prayer lives. For example, Matthew 6:6, Philippians 4:6-7, and Hebrews 4:16 give us examples of how to pray. Matthew tells us to go into a room and pray secretly to the Father. Philippians tells us to present our requests to God with thanksgiving, and Hebrews tells us to pray with confidence. When we use Scripture to guide our prayer time, we are disposed to the incredible character of God.

Another thing we can do is pray in the Spirit. Jude 20 tells us to “pray in the Holy Spirit”. In this context that means to pray in tongues. Praying in tongues can encourage the body and bring messages of hope, rebuke and instruction, but most importantly, it is our personal prayer language with God. Praying in the Spirit is an effective means of avoiding the tendency for prayer to become dull and ritualistic.

Maybe one of the most important ways we can develop an effective prayer life is to wait upon God. Isaiah tells us that “those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.” When we wait upon God this shows that we are expecting and believing that He will move and when He does, we will join Him. It allows us to focus on God and not ourselves. When we focus on God we recognize more and more character qualities that He has that build our faith and trust in Him. It also allows us to develop the ability to hear God. The more time we sped listening to and for His voice, the more we will begin to recognize and understand it.

All in all building an effective prayer life takes time. Setting up a disciplined plan including praying according to the Scripture, praying in the Spirit and meditation, waiting upon God. The reward is a greater expectancy on the fulfillment of our prayers. The more we pray, the closer we get to the heart of God.

The Seven Realities

In this post I will discuss the seven realities of experiencing God as they relate to and are prevalent in my life. In my post, some things I discuss will be personal, but are necessary as they illustrate and show God’s continued refining process in me. I hope to impart encouragement as I share these things, as they are testimony to the power of God. If He can work in and through me, He can work through anyone.

Reality 1: God is always at work around me.

In the New Testament Paul says something simple, yet profound and maybe even encouraging. He says, “no one is without sin; not even one.” Encouraging? Yes. It means that I can stop trying to be perfect. I’m not saying quit growing in the Lord or changing, but to stop pursuing something that is not mine. God is at work in me. He is molding me and shaping me. Through my sisters and some conflict here at TCIMI, God is revealing things that need changing in me but also providing me with Godly people to uphold me and keep me accountable. I have not “arrived” until I am in Heaven, but God is here, now, and wants to work in me.

Reality 2: God pursues a continuing love relationship with me that is real and personal.

God is not a distant, cold, unassociated God. He is my best friend, my lover, counselor, savior, and my king. He loves me and shows me daily. Whether its through the kind word of a sister, the sunset, or a quiet whisper in my heart while reading His word, God reaffirms and confirms His love for me. Not only that, but He pursues a deeper relationship with me. With the trials that I am going through right now, probably the hardest time in my life, God is showing me that He’s ready to go to the next level with me. When trials come, God is there and very, very involved. There’s a whole spiritual realm that He’s fighting for me in. I tell myself this when it seems like He’s immediately not doing anything. He’s my knight in shining armor who would and did go to the ends of the earth for me.

Reality 3: God invites me to become involved with Him in His work.

When I was 15 on a mission trip to Mexico, God called me to be a full time missionary. I got scared and ran. I ran hard and fast from His call to be involved, but every time I turned around, He kept reaffirming His call for me. Now that I’ve been through and am involved with Teen Challenge, God has showed me what I will be doing in Mexico. Opening up a youth Teen Challenge is now my goal. God invites, doesn’t force me to be involved, WITH HIM, in His work. Not by myself in my own work. J

Reality 4: God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.

Many times when I think the God isn’t answering my prayers, it’s because I am not opening up the Word. I think the Bible is the # 1 way that God speaks to His people. My greatest times of encouragement and renewal in the Lord came while reading the Word. God also uses the church and circumstances to confirm things. Many times I’ve had people come up to me and say,” God’s called you to Mexico” or,” You’re going to be a missionary, huh?” These are confirmations not only of His call, but also of His love for me.

Reality 5: God’s invitation for me to work with Him always leads me to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.

I can’t walk on water until I get out of the boat. When the Lord told Peter to come out onto the water, Peter had a crisis of belief. Everything he believed about the water told him not to. People sink in water, the waves would knock him down, and who can walk on water. Peter had to actually have faith that he wouldn’t sink and then actually step out of the boat before he could walk on the water. Same is true in life. God calls us to grasp what is not within our reach. We have to rethink all we believe and know to be true, have faith God will provide, and actually take action. Coming to Teen Challenge from a worldly stance, I had to rethink all I ever knew to be true. I had to trust the Lord that I was doing the right thing, and then actually let Him work in me.

Reality 6: I must make major adjustments in my life to join God in what He is doing.

I left my home, my family, my friends, everything to come here to TCIMI. Besides TC (which was only an hour and a half from my hometown) I loved my whole life in the same county. North Kitsap county, it’s places, and it’s residents are all I ever knew until I moved here to Oregon. That is a major adjustment, but a necessary one if I am to follow the Lord’s calling for my life. It hurts like Hell but God wants all of me and that includes my relationships. He wants me out of my comfort zone so He can work, not I.

Reality 7: I come to know God by experience as I obey Him and He accomplishes His work through me.

My obedience is directly related to how effective I will be for God. As I obey Him and let Him work in me, the more He will be willing to use me. Every experience I have is an opportunity to obey God and get to know Him. Every time I am hurt by an ex-boyfriend’s e-mail or by my little sister’s cutting, I have an opportunity to act in flesh (sin) or to surrender (obey) the Lord. Where my hands are, God’s can’t be. God’s called me to let Him be in control. Not for me to take control, break the situation and hand it back to Him in tiny little pieces. God can fix my mistakes, but He doesn’t have to if He has all of me in the first place.

All in all, God loves me. He wants me involved in His work. He’s living and active. He pursues me. How encouraging to know we serve a God who wants us just as we are; addicts, self-mutilators, liars, thieves, and the failures that in and of ourselves we are.